Music Of Life !!!

Well what is this I am writing today ? Well is it about something about someone or something , I don’t know but then I am writing this because maybe I have never felt like this before, why I am writing this Blog, well I just live and love writing and I believe that’s the only way through which I can express myself and I have always done that. Blogged a lot, people will never understand my blogs, because some find it very tough to grasp what I write, some say that I have very deep meanings in my blog and what I have to say to them is BullShit!!! My blogs are just BullShit , I have never written a blog which really had a true meaning a meaning which I have always wanted. I know that I am no altruist though I may pretend to be one , but then I know that I hate every individual around me, not because they are there existing , because they try to get a difference in my life by one of their acts and that’s what I hate to see and feel. I hate to change, I don't believe that change is something which is required for a person. Why does a person love anyone? Its not a compulsion, no its just that someone invented this word and then he said that he discovered the feeling. Why is that being close to someone and the so called feeling of caring and all the things the so called people do is called love. What if I say its all about building a hate for each other . Hate why Hate , because its all about asking something from each other in return , yes its all about asking something in return . Think about it , why do you love your parents its all about that you need them. Why do you need them , yes of course , you need them , you needed them every moment, if you did not have them , their education then you would have been even worst than a stray dog. Why a stray dog why did I compare you with a stray dog, its because , a stray dog can go wherever he wants and eat whatever he wants but you cannot ,you are not made up of that system. The place and the genes from where you are built would not permit that thing to go inside you and you would become even worst than a stray dog. This is not again targeting someone, but its just too personal. I am not reading again what I have written, neither I am going to check the grammar or the words spelling what I have used in this blog so, its like I am just writing, why am I talking to myself Just too frustrated !! Frustrated!! Frustrated of what , frustrated of every fucking thing around me , the way the people behave the way they try to intrude in my life , (aahhhh someone stop this music around ) the way they try to make a difference in your life.. What I am doing thought about studying but end up writing something , why did I end up by starting to write up again ? That’s just a mere frustration of myself. This time of the year I don’t realize what’s happening? People say History repeats what is History a mere illusions of the memories? What are memories a certain flash back of time , and what are those certain flash back of time , nothing but a pure way of loosing your self where you don’t know what are you living for in the present that you have to go back in time, to find yourself and help you to come out of the present. What is Past Present and Future. Physics !!! Physics of what ? Physics of Time ! Yes its all about the Physics of time ? How do you define Time ? Is it the clicking of the clock , those small sound you hear , of the clock ticking away ? That ticking, technology has taken away and what you hear is not the ticking but you see the clock moving!!! Time is just a mere true expression of your life, when gone never comes back and what I believe is that you should never try to let it come back maybe that’s is why I don’t keep the promises which I keep , but then If it comes to the promises then why cant I forget all the flashbacks, why cant I prevent it from coming to my mind and then let them hallucinate them and cause a Catastrophe in ymy life. Ok I have an excuse here also , lets say that we haven taken an exam, the exam is gone , gone back lost somewhere in time, but then what happens is that you get your result and what the hell is that result it gets you back to that time. I hate taking favors because I believe that its also very much similar to those exams where in what happens is that, those favors are the same as exams , where in you may get the results of those favors when you are not supposed to expect those results and what you find yourself is that you are just too obliged to give them the signatures of yours receiving the result. The whole community is about altruist being together, but within everyone there is an egoistic person residing where in they expect you to accept the result and they expect you to be obliged to accept the result. Why I am writing this is just to try to explain myself that its very tough for me to forget those pasts but then I have to forget everything , and be focused not to listen to others, there are thousands instrument used in an Orchestra, but then it has to be that one voice or the instrument which is to be recognized, that sound which lets you ignore the complete other instruments, the sound where in you may start expecting it to come again , that sound which makes you focused about trying to capture the very first time it gets played again and you start listening to it , even though its repeated you forget what was the last time it was played and you experience its freshness every time it is played or repeated in the orchestra , and that is the sound of your self the sound of yourself. Making you more focused and egoistic. This is Important !! You know that certain things are not the end, even a small distortion should not effect that sound, its too perfect to be out of your mind !! So what are you waiting for, what are you reading? What is written here is just bull shit, its just crap !! Its all about explaining what I am going through and what I have felt at times when that has happened ? What is the use ? There is no use ? Its just gone ? But then this post is for me and supposed to last !! My favorite post to last because, its to make me feel and understand that its not what I am and have become, its to make me realize that I should not let that sound get lost in the various distortions of the pathetic, horrible, paranoid, annoying and worth abhorring MUSIC OF LIFE !!!